A Reflection

I have officially been here for five months--the halfway point--and have decided to do a little reflecting. I still very much love the Philippines--the people, the culture, and the country itself. Manila is an adjustment. Well, any mega metropolitan city is. But, once you have ventured away from it and have seen other areas of this beautiful country, you will find it very easy to fall in love. Don’t get me wrong, there are moments where I find myself frustrated about things that I cannot control, but the same would be true if I lived in the States--probably even more so.

The people here are amiable and culturally, are very family-oriented. Some city people may be a little “rougher” around the edges, but that is true in any city. Filipinos, in general, are known for their hospitality. They will go out of there to make you feel welcomed, even if it means offering you the last of what they may have--but you will never know. Filipinos are also a resilient group of people. Don’t believe me; check out a few books in the library on Filipino history or Google it. Not only that, but they are resilient with their day-to-day living as well.

In being here, I have observed how people live day by day. There is a minimal elite middle/upper class here. The rest, as you can imagine, is poor. Hop on the bus or MRT, and within an hour, you will either be in the business district of Metro Manila or the more impoverished areas that encompass this great city. Within the poorer community, some people are “better off” than others. I have walked the neighborhoods where the poorest of the poor live, and I have also walked the streets of squatter communities, which is notably different, and dare I say, “cleaner” than those of the poorest of the poor. However, it is the people that I love and the people that keep drawing me to these places.

They say being poor is expensive. As Westerners, we tend to buy items in bulk. And why not? It’s more cost-effective, you receive more product and get more for your money. But, if you only had 400 pesos--roughly $8--for the week, you would not be buying a 400 peso bottle of shampoo and conditioner. Instead, you would buy in smaller quantities. Here, things are sold in packets or sashes, even shampoo, and conditioner, and therefore, you would receive less product and, in the long run, pay more for something that isn’t going to last as long. When you live day by day and do not know the next time you’ll be able to go to the market, “today’s trouble really is enough for today.” (Matthew 6:34) With this mentality, the Filipinos become even more resilient and can take on whatever may come.

Having become immersed in this day-to-day living, I feel as though I have grasped what the Father means when He tells us to live in the moment--to breathe in and think about the moment He has us in and nothing else--to absorb it. As I have stated before, it is a way of living that we strive for in the States, but our fast-paced society makes it difficult, and we quickly lose sight of this focus. In general, this is an easy Biblical concept for non-Westerners to grasp because this is all they know. However, with this day by day, living comes a sense of relief. I am typically not a stressed person, but this way of living brings about an extra sense of peace. I feel it in the mornings as I walk to the Home or get on a jeep to go somewhere. It makes time more enjoyable, and you start to treasure the minutes and hours you have, not just the day.

I feel like these first five months have also been a time for me to “just be.” To know that I am truly living out the desires of my heart is still--at times--a very surreal feeling, but it does come at a cost. I have had moments of homesickness. About two weeks ago, I fought off tears throughout the day as I found myself wishing that I could teleport myself to my sister’s house as I longed to share a few minutes with her. Yet, despite those moments, I wouldn’t trade where I am for anywhere or anything else. I have also had days where I have felt so overwhelmed with what the Father has been putting on my heart that I have had to take a “time out” to find a quiet place to go to…to sit and process everything on my heart, listening to music and journaling.

I am already starting to feel a transition and believe that these next five months will be when God will line up connections even more and show me where He is leading me next. I know that my focus is becoming narrower, and I am especially drawn to girls at risk of sex trafficking or those coming out of that lifestyle. It is something that has always tugged at my heartstrings, but it has only become more and more profound since being here. I still have a place in my heart for kids who have been orphaned and abandoned. And maybe those two passions will be brought together in some way or another. Until the Father shows me what is next and the when and how I will continue to have peace in my heart because He has “never failed and you (He) won’t start now.” (Oceans by Hillsong United)