Beauty: It's Not Just Skin Deep

The saying “Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder” goes to say that defining beauty is left to one’s own opinion and can be a rather strict or harsh reality at that. Here in the Philippines--actually in most Asian countries--beauty or image is everything. The women here take pride in their appearance. To a degree, this is a cultural standard, but it has also become an obsession. And yes, American society plays a very influential role in this sad reality.

The first time I went to a supermarket here, something caught my eye while I was in the “beauty” section: whitener. And not toothpaste whitener, but skin whitener…soap whitener, lotion whitener, and facial scrub whitener…aisles of it and extensive selections of brands to choose from. You see, the whiter you are here, the more elite you appear in social status. It means that you may hold a well-paying office job rather than work hard manual labor like construction or sell street food from push-carts. It means that you could be treated better or given privileges that others do not have…it means that to be beautiful here is everything.

But it’s not just the whiter skin. The longer or pointed your nose is, the better. And the lighter your hair? You’re considered even more maganda (beautiful.) I cannot begin to tell you how many times people have asked me if I like my nose. Up until now, I’ve never thought about it before because it’s just that--a nose, and everyone has one. I have been referred to as a blonde (and not in the blonde joke sort of way) more times than I count, which makes me laugh because two of my cousins indeed have blonde hair. It is a common practice here that if a woman is pregnant and she happens to see someone with a long nose or lighter hair, for her to come up to you and touch your hair or rub your nose, all in the hopes that her child will be born with such traits.

On the surface level, this appears “cute,” if that’s the right word to use because Filipinos do love Americans and most Westerners for that matter. At the same time, I find it sad that such beautiful people who make up this fantastic culture have trouble embracing who God designed them to be--their captivating selves--all because society says otherwise.

It is an identity issue that is true here in the Philippines and other parts of Asia but worldwide. Even when I was a teacher, I saw firsthand what society--what the media--did to the young beautiful teenage girls I taught. Many of them only found themselves to be attractive if they looked a certain way, wore make-up, and did X, Y, and Z. It broke my heart and still does, to see girls and even women caught up in this deception. I am not saying that there is anything wrong with getting “dolled up” or even wearing make-up daily, but before all that…before the heels, the fun jewelry, and the skincare products…every girl needs to know their worth in the eyes of their Heavenly Father and what’s most important “…is not your outer appearance--the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes--but your inner disposition.” (1 Peter 3:3-4)

Your inner disposition--your heart--is what will make or break things for you, but somehow society has messed that message up. It now sends mixed messages to girls of all ages across all ethnic, racial, and cultural groups that if you want to have "instant" beauty, you should buy this product or make this change to appear a particular way. It is a superficial gratification avoiding the more complicated matters of the heart. There is so much more I could say about this issue, and maybe one day I will write a book about it all, but until then, I want to encourage the women who do know their worth, who know their value in the eyes of their Heavenly Father to speak life to the thousands of other girls around you. Tell them that they are beautiful. If someone compliments you or says that they wished they looked like you or had your nose or hair color, tell them that God made them unique…that they are His treasure, and He makes "all things" beautiful.

There is a song by the artist Colbie Caillat called "Try." I am sure many of you have already heard it, but listening to this song brings tears to my eyes because she speaks truth to women--young and old--that they don't have to try to be beautiful, that they can like themselves for who they are and who God designed them to be.