A Confession

Jessica Sanders
Nov 9, 2016
3 min read

Updated: May 30, 2021

I have a confession to make. I have felt kind of guilty about it since I have been here in the DR, but at the same time, I know it’s something that I shouldn’t feel guilty about. You see, before I left for the Philippines, I knew that God was calling me there. I felt it in my being. I felt drawn to that country, the culture, and the people, and even now, I still have a longing for the Philippines, but I knew that if I had stayed, it would have been out of complacency.

When I accepted this position here in the DR, I knew that it wasn’t so much the country, but the heart, the lifestyle, and learning what you’re born to do. But, I didn’t realize that I would have such an inner conflict or feel semi guilty about it either. Weeks before leading up to my departure to the DR, I was still questioning whether or not I was supposed “to go.” I remember going for a run one evening and stopped dead in my tracks as I cried out to God and told Him, “I need to know that you want me to go there because I don’t want to be going for myself.” Two days later, I walked into church and crossed paths with one of my prayer partners. We chatted for a few minutes, but before I walked away, she looked at me and told me, “Jessica, you are supposed to be going there…they need your heart, passion, and strength; this isn’t a final place for you…” Those words were enough for me. It was exactly what I had asked God for. It was set. The DR was where I was supposed to go. It would be the next piece to the puzzle, but it wasn’t for the country; it was for the work, the passion that I have to help the down and out, to help girls realize their worth & value, that they are beautifully and uniquely made in the eyes of our Heavenly Father, that’s what this was (is) for.

So, maybe you’re asking why I still feel semi guilty. That’s something that I’m still trying to figure out myself. Anyone who knows me well will tell you that I have a sensitive conscience. And when thinking about it, I think a part of me “feels bad” that I do not feel the same for this country as I did (or still do) for the Philippines, but at the same time, I know that I am not supposed to…it’s part of the journey. I have a heart for Africa, even though I have yet to go there, and I also have a passion for India. I wait for the day that I step foot on the soil of those countries. But, I also know that there will be other countries that I will go to, and, just like the Dominican Republic, it will be for the work, for the heart, and the learning.

Things to PRAY for:

Please continue to hold our staff up in prayer. Pray for energy as we go about our day, our health, and be in tune with the Holy Spirit and what He is showing us.
Pray for the girls currently in our care and the ones that are no longer with us. Pray for their hearts to be open, pray for wisdom as they resume their studies and that they continue to feel the peace and love of our Heavenly Father.